Wrinklesquirm

Vogue

2011-06-11T08:26:00.000-07:00

We are capable of such greatness. Until age 26.

ME AT NINE, PERFORMING TO MADONNA IN SUMMER '91! from Robert Jeffrey on Vimeo.

BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL

2009-06-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

I don't really care dear.

2009-06-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

Huh.

2009-06-01T13:55:00.000-07:00

“This is about being a true-blooded American guy and girl”

2009-05-19T11:10:00.000-07:00

A story on the Explorers program--an affiliate of The Boy Scouts of America--which trains kids to bust marijuana fields, catch illegal immigrants, subdue shooters and engage in all manner of high-powered assault rifle chicanery. Surprisingly, no one has complained about engendering bloodlust in kids:
Cathy Noriega, also 16, said she was attracted by the guns. The group uses compressed-air guns — known as airsoft guns, which fire tiny plastic pellets — in the training exercises, and sometimes they shoot real guns on a closed range.

“I like shooting them,” Cathy said. “I like the sound they make. It gets me excited.”

Though maybe that sort of delight explains this:

There have been numerous cases over the last three decades in which police officers supervising Explorers have been charged, in civil and criminal cases, with sexually abusing them.

Fortunately, they've taken steps by requiring adult Explorers to take an online training course on sexual misconduct. Whew. Crisis AVERTED!! *slaps some high-fives, maybe a few crotch-fives*

Season of the Mall

2009-05-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

I know the whole thing with wolves barfing lasers amidst chaotic rock n' roll destruction is as over-played as wolves airbrushed onto t-shirts, or wolves airbrushed onto sweatshirts, but these guys kind of fit for today. Maybe we enter a new era of wolves airbrushed onto bathing suits.

This got so much better...

2009-05-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

Take your time with this one, thanks to Nate.

Wool Fetishists

2009-05-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

More of this here.

Curses, sunroof! We meet again...

2009-05-08T11:17:00.000-07:00

Guy caught in a bout of pleasure, to the pleasure of employees in the much-taller-than-his-car building that he was parked next to.

Summer!

2009-05-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

Thanks Mikey!

Beauty and the (Mechanical Shovel) Beast

2009-05-03T22:03:00.000-07:00

Preg/nan/cy Fet/ish/es or: OMG THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVAR!

2009-04-30T19:42:00.000-07:00

This guy has actually made several of these videos.

But it is possible that this one wins.

Nursing Postcards

2009-04-30T19:30:00.000-07:00

via

Dotty sure loves to give it

2009-04-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Russians are the ________ of the sea.

2009-04-28T09:34:00.001-07:00

_

via

World's smallest man dances with his cat

2009-04-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

via

Is this hot or creepy? Debate starts around the 1 minute mark.

2009-04-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

Ray Smuckles as a dog

2009-04-20T20:59:00.001-07:00

The most accurate song ever

2009-04-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

When you're a Jet you're a Jet all the way

2009-04-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

Tommy Lee in space, Tacoma.

2009-04-19T12:52:00.000-07:00

Get these boobs outta here....

2009-04-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

Photo gallery of hand signals that Sherman Billingsley, owner of The Stork Club in New York, used to communicate with his assistant about various patrons.

Pause, pause, no homo

2009-04-15T09:53:00.001-07:00

Supressed memories in the making

2009-04-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

Only $25 from Hasbro.
Meanwhile, The Onion AV Club rightly guessed that the Oozinator will birth a nation of semen sharpshooters.

*Sexy Easter Update! There was supposed to be some other embedded video after that mysterious onion comment, but html is "complicated." Yikes!

*Semi-nude April 14th Update! I guess html got de-mystified.

I would ask for a scab or a piece of skin from a blister

2009-04-07T13:04:00.000-07:00

Trailer for a documentary about fans obsessed with Tiffany. They seem to be engaged in a contest for who gets to marry her. This contest does not exist.

Hat tip to Nate, who is not technically a stalker because he actually loves the objects of his attentions.

Hunkercize

2009-03-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, this is the only possible happy outcome for former Chippendiddys.

I always eat my pork n' beans by the light of Hellfire

2009-03-13T06:52:00.000-07:00

More chilling images of homunculi here.

"It's right here Ray. It's looking at me."

2009-03-12T09:35:00.000-07:00

Kelly McCallum's Victorian era fox with gold maggot accessories. Picture and wit courtesy of Lily who is indeed lunching with the critter.

Hail, Atlantis.

2009-03-06T23:25:00.000-08:00

Make it past the introduction. Do some velvet on your body. Prepare to think about how you're bad at sex.

Demon Kitty Camels

2009-03-06T14:06:00.000-08:00

via Leslie's gchat link, via BoingBoing.

I can't decide

2009-03-04T23:54:00.000-08:00

I mean,in the words of Kool Keith, "Why are you making those mean faces in your video with the fish lens effects?" But the song? Does it SOUND like old people dusting off their pennyfarthings for a ride 'round the park, or does it sound new and relevant? For me, it seems to depend on the day....

Pax Romana

2009-03-04T23:45:00.000-08:00

Roomba Cyborg

2009-03-04T23:42:00.000-08:00

Wee Willie Winkie...

2009-03-04T23:23:00.000-08:00

In case you forgot what awesome is

2009-03-04T23:08:00.000-08:00

Rad Dude

2009-03-03T05:15:00.001-08:00

Ways to be cool

2009-03-01T07:57:00.000-08:00

Crispin Glover Stomps on a Dog

2009-02-27T14:19:00.000-08:00

In which Crispin Glover stomps on a dog.

From the movie Simon Says.

Introducing the, uh, the Chippendiddys

2009-02-26T23:26:00.000-08:00

God I wish I had kids. Please please please click here for video. I couldn't get the site's embedded player to work.

Dead useful

2009-02-26T20:05:00.000-08:00

More useful turtle information, including turtle math, here.

Girls! Boys! Girls! Boys!

2009-02-01T10:45:00.000-08:00

A deep cut from Pierre Nadeau, courtesy of Canadian MTV. Leslie immediately guessed that this song and resultant video were the doings of The Great White North, so try spotting tell-tale signs. There are no all-denim outfits so it's not as easy as you think.